I still remember the feeling …that quiet frustration of being a junior stuck on JV while everyone else moved up. I had worked so hard for years, sacrificing time with friends, weekends, and after-school hours. Even during the pandemic, when practices were canceled and motivation was hard to find, I still trained. I stayed committed because I loved the sport and believed my moment would come.
But when junior year ended and I was still on JV, it hit me hard. By the time senior year came around, I didn’t even try out. My coach was known for not taking seniors, and I convinced myself it wasn’t worth it. I told everyone I was “over it,” but deep down, I wasn’t. The truth is, I was scared — scared of being rejected again, scared that all my sacrifice hadn’t meant anything.
So I walked away.
At the time, it felt easier. But now, I wish I hadn’t. Giving up before I even gave myself a chance hurt more than getting cut ever could’ve. I’ll never know what might have happened if I’d just shown up one more time — if I’d trusted myself enough to try.
Looking back, that experience taught me more than any game ever could.
Lesson #1: Effort doesn’t always get the recognition it deserves, but that doesn’t mean it’s wasted. Every extra rep, every late night, every practice still mattered. It built character, discipline, and resilience, even if I didn’t realize it at the time.
Lesson #2: Fear can disguise itself as logic. I told myself not trying out made sense, but really, I was afraid of failing again. Courage isn’t about being sure of the outcome, it’s about showing up despite the uncertainty.
Lesson #3: Walking away might protect your pride, but it doesn’t help you grow. It’s better to give it your all and fall short than to live with the “what ifs.”
Now that I’m in college, I play intramural volleyball, and honestly, it’s where I’ve rediscovered my love for the game. There’s no pressure, no politics, no rosters to check. Just music, laughter, and the same love for volleyball that started it all. It feels like I’m finally living out the version of my high school dream I never got to have.
I walked away once. But I came back on my own terms, and that’s how I learned that you can always find your way back to what you love.
